Allergy advice / parental guidance: Contains sugar, nudity and animals were harmed in the making of this programme....

(All the following quotes unless otherwise attributed are of course Shaun Micallef)

Shaun's intro: ‘Shaun Micallef here with radio as Marconi intended and... ohh God, I can’t go on!!!!’

Sounding genuinely despondent, he went on to explain that he spent the previous night in his shed making trailers, and here is one:

(Clip with lots of cartoon/ Goon Show style noises, assorted whirrs, clicks, thumps, boings, farts, twangs, explosions etc) voiceover (Shaun) ‘The sounds of Melbourne!’

Shaun (accidentally?) trod on a lizard whilst making this segment. (Fatally for the lizard)

Apparently, management didn’t think this was ‘Vega’ enough (the trailer, not the slaughter of small animals)

Shaun appealed to listeners to support his promo trailer: Pensioner ‘Fred’ (who sounded suspiciously like Shaun) rang in to give support, but no one else did!

Caller: ‘How are you going?’

‘All right, how are you going,.... any particular direction?’

Caller: ‘....your promo was crap!’ (good- natured laughter from everyone)

‘There’s room for you in the management team here...’

Word of the Day: Shaun is 'scrofulous' today: apparently often used to describe the appearance of John Merrick, the Elephant Man.

Discussion topics

Melbourne is ‘putting the Christ back into Christmas’: by having a nativity scene:

‘£200,000 dollars worth of polystyrene’.

Sweet Shaun Moment: On the beautiful moon / star formation last night...the family went out for a walk and‘.... my (three year old) son called it a biscuit..... Oh my god, I told a cute kid story on air!’*

‘Astronomy watch every Thursday at 7.23 & 53 seconds’

Michael Caine’s ‘Not a lot of people know that’ read tonight by ‘Christopher Walken’: ‘Cubans believe it is dangerous to walk in the moonlight with a bare head’**

Shaun Facts:

Shaun played Joseph at his kindergarten nativity.

Denise revealed to us her only line from the school nativity play: ‘baa’

(dressed in a costume of worn out aqua terry towelling)

Shaun's Interview: Michael Speck, music industry representative discussed their recent court victory against illegal downloads.

Shaun confessed to downloading rarity comedy tracks that aren’t available elsewhere.

‘Here’s a song. If you listen on the web, don’t download it, or that’ll be ironic’

Callers found problems with the official pay sites, but no problems with free sites:

‘We’re not advocating that you go out & commit crimes, ladies & gentlemen, we’re err, well sitting on the fence...’

Selected serious bits: The US invading itself: troops removing the last people from New Orleans. Shaun read a newspaper article, which he later explained was from the American Civil War, which could have been describing events now. Lots of calls on the degeneration of the US as a super power.

More on the Telstar (typing error: sorry that’s a satellite), Telstra shares debacle and if/how much the government has misled people.

Gameshow segment 'Know your Beatles Backwards': Shaun performed a rendition of ‘Your Mother Should Know’ without being able to remember the words or the tune- at least he’s got the accent down pat. (‘Maxwell’s Silver Hammer’ was the correct answer)

To caller: ‘You don’t go away completely empty handed: you have a phone in one....’

Guest: Merv Hughes didn’t turn up as planned to discuss the cricket, so ‘the elderly curator of the Don Bradman Museum’ filled in at short notice.

‘John Howard is an electric personality whose brain is fizzing...’.

‘I was at Lords: I had a bad leg. Oh no, that was Lourdes... terrible pitch at Lourdes, soaking wet.....’

Denise’s husband John rang the show again. Shaun’s comment:

‘Have you guys run out of post-it notes, have you no other way of communicating than on air?’

Quote of the day:

‘Coming up: Spring Fashion week and the psychology of looting. I think those are two separate stories....’