Micallef's Online World: Vega Breakfast Show 14

(All the following quotes unless otherwise attributed are of course Shaun Micallef, believe it or not I got fed up of having to type or paste ‘Shaun’)

Shaun's intros: ‘Good morning it’s 6:06 (SFX: ‘Inconceivable!’*) I’ve been in the shed again: I’ve grafted the head of Wallace Shaw, American actor onto my rooster’

‘We’re here with you for the next 3 hours... what would that be in dog years? I don’t want to limit listeners to humans...’

‘Words of the Day: ‘runcible’ (‘look up your Edward Lear’), ‘osteoporotic’, ‘carbuncular’

Discussion topics:

On a footballer having his finger cut off: ‘I wasn’t aware the AFL was run by the Yakuza’

Finals tickets on eBay costing up to $764 dollars: Beverley: ‘Would you buy a Rolling Stones ticket for that?’

‘I wouldn’t buy a Rolling Stone for that!’

Denise’s good luck charm is ‘a gnome picking its nose’

Cricket (great teetering heaps of it)

According to the news, Shane Warne has a great cricket brain:

‘Maybe Shane Warne has the brain of a cricket, and hears with his knees’

Beverley: ‘Flintoff wasn’t just drinking orange juice with Tony Blair... I think they had something else’

‘What, you mean crack?’

The ‘wash up’ with the Ashes

‘Can you have a wash up with Ashes?’

‘It would be messy’ Beverley

Collagen for beauty procedures in China is allegedly harvested from executed convicts: ‘How would you feel about having the skin of a dead man injected into your lip? Give us a ring on 13 25 10’

The flower show: ‘Do they replant the floral clock in daylight saving?’

Shaun Facts:

Shaun’s never bought anything from eBay, but he has bought books over the internet.

Shaun weighs 14 stone (or so he said when trying to prove Australia is a fatter lazier country than England)

Shaun loves Lego, but hates Megablocks. Like ‘everybody from Adelaide’, he says Laygo, not Leg-o.

Shaun won’t allow his sons to play computer games.

Cosmopolitan once described him as ‘the thinking woman’s idiot’.

On hearing The Bee-Gees ‘How Deep Is Your Love?’, Shaun explained to us that during this song at his year 10 dance, he bumped into a fishing net & broke his glasses.

Shaun had to introduce John Howard to the audience**. As they were shaking hands he thought ‘I wonder what it would be like to lean over and kiss him? That would be funny!’’***

Gameshow segment:

‘Work out the track, call us & tell us. In that order. If you just say it without ringing, it’s pointless’

Guests:

Glen Manton

‘Hey Glen, can I just ask you a question?’

Glen: ‘Sure’

‘That was it’

Robert Doyle aka ‘Doyley’

Denise: ‘I’m going to call you embroidered centrepiece for a table’’

On the 'reduced toll' road: ‘Can you call it the Mitcham-Frankston half free way?’

Impressions:

John Lennon: ‘Yoko & I are getting into a bag for peace’

Paul McCartney ‘rainbows...lollypops.. dum de dum...’ (continues along incoherently for quite some time)

Beverley: ‘For god’s sake, somebody stop him!’

Michael Caine’s ‘Not a lot of people know that’ read by ‘Sean Connery’ ‘A butterfly has 12000 eyes’

Quotes:

‘6.33: the sun has already well and truly chinned itself on the horizon’

‘You might be up early anyway, if you’re a butcher you’ll be hacking away at meat listening to this...it’s the preferred mode of listening’

‘You’re listening to Vega (Dusty Springfield ‘Son of a Preacher Man’ ‘intro) Dusty.... I really must get a cleaner....’

‘Playlist computer, can we play the new Paul McCartney single?’

Clip (Hal from 2001): ‘I’m sorry I can’t do that Dave’

‘Oh yeah? Well freak you ! We’ll play it anyway.’

Denise: ‘Why is Mark Latham holding a football in this picture?’’

‘I’d get onto the terrorist helpline, it could be a device...’

‘If you’re having a shower, eating breakfast, driving to work... pull over it sounds very dangerous!’

Shaun's outros ‘I’ve been Shaun Micallef, I will cease to be until the same time tomorrow’


		Shaun Micallef's Online World Around Him Back Home

	Vega Breakfast Show - Wednesday 14 - Friday 16 September 2005 (as transcribed by the incredible Viv) (All the following quotes unless otherwise attributed are of course Shaun Micallef, believe it or not I got fed up of having to type or paste ‘Shaun’) Shaun's intros: ‘Good morning it’s 6:06 (SFX: ‘Inconceivable!’) I’ve been in the shed again: I’ve grafted the head of Wallace Shaw, American actor onto my rooster’* ‘We’re here with you for the next 3 hours... what would that be in dog years? I don’t want to limit listeners to humans...’ ‘Words of the Day: ‘runcible’ (‘look up your Edward Lear’), ‘osteoporotic’, ‘carbuncular’ Discussion topics: On a footballer having his finger cut off: ‘I wasn’t aware the AFL was run by the Yakuza’ Finals tickets on eBay costing up to $764 dollars: Beverley: ‘Would you buy a Rolling Stones ticket for that?’ ‘I wouldn’t buy a Rolling Stone for that!’ Denise’s good luck charm is ‘a gnome picking its nose’ Cricket (great teetering heaps of it) According to the news, Shane Warne has a great cricket brain: ‘Maybe Shane Warne has the brain of a cricket, and hears with his knees’ Beverley: ‘Flintoff wasn’t just drinking orange juice with Tony Blair... I think they had something else’ ‘What, you mean crack?’ The ‘wash up’ with the Ashes ‘Can you have a wash up with Ashes?’ ‘It would be messy’ Beverley Collagen for beauty procedures in China is allegedly harvested from executed convicts: ‘How would you feel about having the skin of a dead man injected into your lip? Give us a ring on 13 25 10’ The flower show: ‘Do they replant the floral clock in daylight saving?’ Shaun Facts: Shaun’s never bought anything from eBay, but he has bought books over the internet. Shaun weighs 14 stone (or so he said when trying to prove Australia is a fatter lazier country than England) Shaun loves Lego, but hates Megablocks. Like ‘everybody from Adelaide’, he says Laygo, not Leg-o. Shaun won’t allow his sons to play computer games. Cosmopolitan once described him as ‘the thinking woman’s idiot’. On hearing The Bee-Gees ‘How Deep Is Your Love?’, Shaun explained to us that during this song at his year 10 dance, he bumped into a fishing net & broke his glasses. Shaun had to introduce John Howard to the audience. As they were shaking hands he thought ‘I wonder what it would be like to lean over and kiss him? That would be funny!’’* Gameshow segment: ‘Work out the track, call us & tell us. In that order. If you just say it without ringing, it’s pointless’ Guests: Glen Manton ‘Hey Glen, can I just ask you a question?’ Glen: ‘Sure’ ‘That was it’ Robert Doyle aka ‘Doyley’ Denise: ‘I’m going to call you embroidered centrepiece for a table’’ On the 'reduced toll' road: ‘Can you call it the Mitcham-Frankston half free way?’ Impressions: John Lennon: ‘Yoko & I are getting into a bag for peace’ Paul McCartney ‘rainbows...lollypops.. dum de dum...’ (continues along incoherently for quite some time) Beverley: ‘For god’s sake, somebody stop him!’ Michael Caine’s ‘Not a lot of people know that’ read by ‘Sean Connery’ ‘A butterfly has 12000 eyes’ Quotes: ‘6.33: the sun has already well and truly chinned itself on the horizon’ ‘You might be up early anyway, if you’re a butcher you’ll be hacking away at meat listening to this...it’s the preferred mode of listening’ ‘You’re listening to Vega (Dusty Springfield ‘Son of a Preacher Man’ ‘intro) Dusty.... I really must get a cleaner....’ ‘Playlist computer, can we play the new Paul McCartney single?’ Clip (Hal from 2001): ‘I’m sorry I can’t do that Dave’ ‘Oh yeah? Well freak you ! We’ll play it anyway.’ Denise: ‘Why is Mark Latham holding a football in this picture?’’ ‘I’d get onto the terrorist helpline, it could be a device...’ ‘If you’re having a shower, eating breakfast, driving to work... pull over it sounds very dangerous!’ Shaun's outros ‘I’ve been Shaun Micallef, I will cease to be until the same time tomorrow’