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Micallef Tonight - Episode 13, Part
Two After first ad break: Graphic: "MICALLEF TONIGHT". "You Can't Stop the Music" plays. Francis is at the piano, playing and singing out of time with the audience's claps and the backing track. Francis:...Nobody can stop the music. Take the cold from snow, tell the wind "don't blow", tell the trees "don't grow", 'cause it's easier! You can't stop the music, nobody can stop the music... Something, apparently an egg-type object, hits Francis in the back of the head. The music stops and he slumps off the piano stool, not forgetting to land on the keyboard briefly, causing another "blung" noise. Shaun sits at his desk, looking over at Francis, angry, but satisfied. He sees that the camera is on him and smiles sweetly. Shaun then notices a glass of beer in clear view and does a double-take. He grins nervously as he bends down to put the drink on the ground, then sits back up. Shaun: My first guest tonight, Ricky Martin, has made quite a name for himself: the name of Ricky Martin. His first album in English, Ricky Martin, showed that like many Martins before him - Dean Martin, Tony Martin, (pause) Marty Roan - the name "Martin" is a guaranteed winner in the music business, but when coupled with "Ricky", it's a name, Ricky Martin, that burns up the charts faster than a pyromaniac working in hospital administration. But I won't keep you from him, ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Mister Ricky Martin! Audience cheers so enthusiastically as Ricky comes on to be greeted and shown to his seat by Shaun, that the unusual intro music that is playing can barely be heard. Ricky: Good audience, always. Audience keep cheering. Shaun: I'm sorry, Ricky. Audience cheer so loudly that both men have to almost shout to be heard. Ricky: I hadn't told you... Cheering continues to continue. Shaun:(to Ricky:) Just relax. Cheering slows. Shaun: I'm, I'm... Ricky: (to audience) Hi, my name is Ricky Martin. (laughs at audience's reaction) Another long burst of cheering begins. Shaun:(pointing to Ricky) Yeah, right, Ricky Martin. Cheering stops. Shaun: Don't start that again. I'm sorry Ricky, we used to have the applause sign up there. We had to put "Scream: Hysterical" sign up there instead. Ricky: (mimes holding up an applause sign) Applause! (holds up another imaginary sign) Scream! More cheering. Ricky: Thank you, good job. (mimes holding sign again) Everybody dancing! Shaun:Seems to work very well. Ah, hello, nice to see you again. Ricky: Good to be here. Shaun:We met many years ago. About three years ago, on the Logies I introduced you. Ricky: That's right. Shaun:We shared a dressing room. Ricky: That's right. Shaun: I was in there for about half an hour and then you got the next three hours. Ricky laughs. Shaun: And I left some change in there and when I came back it wasn't there. I'm not accusing you or anything, but five bucks wasn't there...I did notice that your hair's different from when we last met. Ricky: It's a mohawk wannabe. Shaun:Yeah, now how does... is there a philosophy behind the haircut tonight? Ricky: Nothing. I just told the hairdresser that I wanted a, you know, short haircut, but I wanted a long haircut. Shaun:Ah ha ha! Ricky: Kind of confusing. Shaun:Very contradictory. Ricky: But he did a really good job, it's short in the back, long in the front. Audience cheers again. Shaun:Yeah. And like many of your haircuts, do you expect that it'll be imitated and emulated by others? Ricky: I think you need to let it grow first and then you can imitate it. I dunno, hopefully. I dunno, if you like it, go ahead. Shaun: Alright... well, do you want to... (points to own head) I dunno if this'll catch on... Ricky: (Whilst Shaun speaks, waving his hands towards Shaun's head, speaking to audience:) What do you think? Would he look good in it? Shaun? You need a couple of months for it to grow and then... Shaun: (Disappointed) Aww, right, no. Ricky: .. just shave it in the back... and the mohawk! Can you imagine him in a mohawk? Just like completely shaved (mimes shaving his own head) and, like, (whistles and makes a mohawk shape with his hands on his head)... Shaun:Well, I'll work on it, Ricky. I'm always happy to embrace popular culture. Ricky: (Still waving hands around his own head) ... with green and blue on the sides. It'd look really nice. Shaun: Mmm, 'kay, thank you. (Points to own head) And if you want to use this haircut, yourself, at any point... Ricky: Not a problem. Shaun: I mean, eventually it'll go grey, I expect, Ricky, at some point. Ricky: Definitely... Shaun: Okay. I'm actually... Ricky: My father is salt and pepper. Shaun: Is he? Ricky: Yeah. Shaun:Alright. I'm more just salt, I think. Not too much pepper in my hair. But I've had the same haircut since I was about seven. Ricky: Really? Shaun:Yes, that's right (continues talking, but Ricky interrupts) Ricky: Come on, man, you've gotta change. Shaun: And now, because your most recent album is entirely in Spanish... Ricky: It is in Spanish, yes. Shaun:... I wondered if we could conduct the interview entirely in Spanish. (Picks up phrasebook) Ricky: Alright.. Yes, yes. Shaun: Are you game? Ah, you do speak Spanish? Ricky: I do speak Spanish. Shaun: You get by? Alright, okay, alright. I speak Spanish as well. Ricky: Let's start with the name of the album. Shaun: (Puts phrasebook down) Alright, the name of the album is... Ricky: Almas Delsiencio. Shaun: Almas Guizelenzio, Almas Deslencio. Ricky: Okay, I think we need another hour to... (laughs) Just kidding around.. Shaun: Okay, that's alright; I've got (waves phrasebook at Ricky)... (bends down) Did you hear? My knee? You know I've had a cartilage out? Ricky: (Looks at knee) I'm sorry. Shaun: I had a cartilage out, that's why I'm in a lot of pain, now, Ricky. Ricky: You can walk on it? Shaun: That's alright, no. (Looks to phrase book) Okay, just correct me if I'm wrong... Ricky notices something behind Shaun's desk and leans over to retrieve it. Shaun looks down at what Ricky is doing. Ricky picks up the hidden beer. Shaun: If you want a drink... Ricky: What's goin' on? Shaun: If you want to drink on air, that's fine. Have a s... Ricky: You weren't on time to go to the bathroom, so you did it here? (points to glass) Shaun: No, I... Ricky: (Puts drink back down) Ooh, my god. Shaun: Aww dear. (Returns to phrasebook) Alright, okay... Ricky: Right, how's your Spanish? Shaun:Here we go. Correct me if I'm wrong. (Reads from book) Ah, neccessitoh uun surloh para eairl courioh ell airleeoh? Long pause, during which the subtitle "I need an airmail stamp." Appears. Shaun: I seem to have stumped you there. Ricky: (Looking thoughtful) Yeah! Shaun: Esta em cahsah el senyorah Garcia? Subtitle: "Is Mr Garcia at home?" Ricky: Is Mr Garcia at home? Shaun: That's right. (Reads from book) Noh Senyorah, hah sahlidoh. Ricky: Okay, cool. Subtitle: "No Sir. He's gone out" Ricky: He went out,... Shaun: Thank you very much. Ricky: ... yes. Shaun: (Back to book again) Lell jahjahray una nohtah. Subtitle: "I'll leave him a note." Then: "May I borrow a pencil and a sheet of paper from you." Shaun: Seemee parameetay un lapez (resorts to English pronunciation:) why un (very Aussie accent:) papal? Ricky: (thinks for a second) Oh, okay, I got it! Shaun: Okay. Ricky: It's all about the accents. Shaun: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ricky: (laughs) Yeah. Shaun: It's not working, is it? I'll do someth... Look... Ricky: You don't say "pay-per", you say... I mean, you say "pay-per" in English, right? Shaun:Yes, we do! Ricky: "Pay-per" Shaun: (nods) "Pay-per"... Oh, ... Ricky: That leads us back to... Shaun:... no, you say "pay-per" in America. We say "pay-pah", here... Ricky: "Pay-pah" Shaun:... in Australia. Ricky & Shaun (in unison): (complete with cute little shrugs) Pay-pah! Shaun:(emphasising Aussie accent) Pay-pah! Pay-pah! Ricky: I need to work on my slang. Shaun: Yeah, alright. I mean, Australia's a beautiful way to learn the "other English". Ricky: The other Eng... (trails off into laughter) Shaun: That's right. Ricky: The English from Down Under. Shaun: Now this is your first Spanish album in five years... Ricky: That's right, that's right. Shaun: ... and is it - you've probably been asked this a million times, but I'll make it a million and one - it's a risky thing, is it, for you to bring out an album in Spanish, after the last two - which you've enjoyed great success with - being in English? Ricky: No, not at all, Shaun. Shaun: You don't think so? Ricky: You know, I did it, it was a very romantic decision... ... the one that I took in order for me to record in Spanish at this specific time in my life. It was all about, you know, searching within and - like I've said before - going back to the beginning, going back home and it was all about the need to be impressed by the little things, you know. And in order for that to happen after two, three, maybe five years of really intense work on the crossover into English everything got to be funky! You know, I needed to go back to the beginning... Shaun: Funky? Funky, that's a bad... Ricky: (Moving funkily) Fuky! Shaun: .. that's a bad thing? (Stops suddenly) Both men gape as they realise what Ricky actually said. Shaun: That's alright..... we had a warning at the beginning of the show. Ricky: .. it was an "n"... Shaun: That's fine. Ricky: .. in the middle of the word. Shaun: Alright. We cannot... We just cannot say "fuck" on this network, so... Ricky: (laughing) Okay. I won't say it, then. Shaun: . - that's okay - don't say that, then. No such uttered word. Ricky: Not a problem. (laughs more) Shaun:Well, if you can say it, I can say it! Ricky: Okay. Shaun: Now we can both get the blame for that; that's alright. Ricky: So, like we were saying, I'm really happy, 'cause this album sold two million copies in eight weeks - which is really good - all over the world. As audience cheers, Shaun grins and waves in a pop-star-ish fashion. Ricky: But Shaun, I am releasing an English album hopefully by the beginning of next year. Shaun: Yes. Ricky: A completely different album. It's already recorded; it's all about sending it out there. Shaun: Right, oh! You see, it's interesting you've finished the album, but had you in fact recorded most of the songs for that English album before you went back and... Ricky: It's done. We only have to go back to the studio - hopefully - now, in November, and we're gonna mix them all. Shaun: Alright. Ricky: And in February, we'll release it and we'll also start a concert tour. So I'll be back to Australia with the concert. Audience scream very loudly again. Shaun: Okay, alright. (Points above audience) They keep flashing that scream hysterically sign up there... Ricky: Oh! Shaun: ... and excuse me just one moment, Ricky. (Leans over to get phone. To phone:) Hello? Hello? Yes. Alright, okay. Bye. (Hangs up. To Ricky:) Sorry, that was my mother; she just wanted to admonish me for swearing on air. Ricky: Oh! Bad boy! (slaps own wrist) Shaun: That's alright, nothing about you. Ricky: (Laughs) Oh. Shaun: The time you spent away from the music industry... which has resulted, I guess, in this album - you mentioned that everything got a bit funky, for a while there - I noticed that you've collaborated with a lot of your old song-writing partners, but not Robi Rosa, with whom you wrote Cup of Life and... Ricky: Livin' La Vida Loca and... Shaun: That's right. Well, why was that? Because... Ricky: Why? Shaun: .. you had a very fruitful partnership with him. Ricky: Yeah, no, definitely. He's my friend - actually, he's my brother - he is now working on his album. He's working on his production and he's coming out with - releasing - a solo album in a couple of months, actually, so it was time for him to, you know, lock himself in the studio and do work for what he really wanted to do, which was perform. Shaun: Right. Ricky: So it was all about - you know, it's like, you open cycles and you close cycles. Shaun: Did he get a bit cross with you when with Bush and singing Cup of Life with Bush, though? Did he get offended by that? Ricky: That's what I heard, but I ignored it completely. And, you know, I never asked him about... because maybe that is his opinion - and everybody's entitled to have one. I was invited to sing with Bush and I was naughty, because I wanted to sing with Bush is because, next day, I was in the front cover of every newspaper around the world..... and that's what I wanted! Thankyou very much! It was... You know, music and pop-music has nothing to do with politics. You know, I don't think it's a... (trails off) Shaun: Are you a political person, yourself - away from music? I know you don't necessarily feel the need to include it in your music. Ricky: Creativity has nothing to do with politics. For me, what really turns me on is music, to be in the studio, to be on stage and to make people enjoy life - you know - although, right now, I'm working with... the Ricky Martin Foundation created a new project that is called "People for the Children".... and it's all about rescuing kids from the street - kids that are, unfortunately, dealing with the very lucrative industry that is child-pornography and child prostitution... and because of that I am going to be meeting with a lot of leaders around the world and I'm gonna be shaking hands with them and I'm gonna be telling them how intense this problem is..... and if it's for the children, I'll become a little political - but then again, political and charity has nothing to do either; it's just a misconception, you know, another concept... Shaun: Sure, sure. Yeah, yeah. I know that on one of your tracks on your album, which is - again, I'll probably mispronounce it... Ricky: Go for it. Shaun: (Reads from paper on desk) ... Asignatura Pendientay... Ricky: Pending Assignment. Shaun: - Pending Assignment - you refer to a number of the pressures that have applied to you in your life..... - and you include the photo with Bush so I take it you're conscious of some of the criticism that occurred - or at least, some of the media comment that occurred, having you performed at his inauguration - and that's one of the things that have been a pressure in your life... I'm assuming this. Ricky, correct me; I'm probably wrong! Ricky: No, not at all. You know, it's good to meet people, it's good to exchange ideas with - you know - people from all over the world and that is one of the gifts that this career has given me. And, you know, the Chinese symbol for people is two little sticks holding one another (demonstrates with fingers), so it's all about, you know, learning from everybody... Shaun: I might be reading too much into the song, 'cause you also talk about having a fan-club on the moon, so perhaps I shouldn't take so much away... Ricky: (laughs) Right! And having more cars than friends. Shaun: Well, I've got more cars than friends - I've only got two cars, though, so... Ricky: Really? So you've got one friend. Shaun: . that says a lot about me. Ricky: Right. Shaun: And also enough frequent-flier points to fly to Pluto, as well. Ricky: That's right. Shaun: I was wondering if you could actually sign over any to me, any of those frequent-flier points? Ricky: Yeah, no problem. I'll give them to you. Shaun: Oh! Thankyou very much. Very kind. Ricky: Will you do something for the children around the world?... Shaun: Oh, look, if I can ever contribute... Ricky: You'll get them for free... Shaun: .. I'll be happy to. I know it's... Ricky: Thankyou very much! Thank you. You know what happens? Every time I talk about this, other people get really afraid, because this is a very painful subject. It's very scary, but it's something that is affecting every planet, every... (laughs) sorry! Shaun: Good planet. Ricky: Okay, I'm sorry... Shaun: Yeah, no, got that from your fan-club on the moon! Ricky: I'm sorry. Every country.. in this planet and for me this is very serious and... Shaun: Oh yeah, it is. Ricky: ... to have the opportunity to be in front of the camera and tell it to masses of people - and I am going to make a difference, hopefully. Shaun: No, that's good. Ricky: Thankyou. Shaun: You're using your power for good. That's a good thing. Ricky: Thankyou. Appreciate it. Shaun: And part of the good you do is also entertain people and I should plug the album as well. (Holds up CD case) That's the album that is out at the moment. Album cover has Ricky reclining in a photo, a sticker mentioning "Jaleo" and has the writing: "Ricky Martin Almas Deselencio" Shaun: And also, this is the single out at the moment, as well. (holds up another CD case) New CD case has "Ricky Martin Jaleo" and a photo of Ricky clutching his head, bent forwards, sitting down. Shaun: And there's Ricky, in a different mood there. What were you thinking when that was taken? You're covering your head, Ricky. Ricky: (Mimics photo pose. Croaks:) I have a headache. Shaun: Alright, good to hear. And you're gonna perform for us later on in the show? Ricky: (nods) Jaleo. Shaun: Yes, the new single. Audience cheer outrageously again. Shaun: So for the moment, Ricky Martin, thankyou very much. Ricky'll be back a little later on! Ricky makes various thumbs-up-ish gestures to the audience. Ricky: Thank You Music plays, camera swoops out, Shaun lifts something large and box-shaped onto his desk, MT logo appears and it swoops around, as it does.
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