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"David McGhan, This is Your Life"

-- biographical information extracted without permission from the unauthorized The Life, Times and Sydney Morning Heralds of Filmmaker David McGhan.

David E. McGhan was born Davidos Ernest Boris Frangipanny McGhan in the Spring of 1959 in Seaford, Adelaide, to parents Frank and Hortence McGhan. It seemed that even at birth, David's life was destined to be lived through a lens -- that is to say, infant David had a hideous growth protruding from his left temple and was studied ad nauseum by doctors through a one way mirror for much of his immediate postnatal life.

Defects aside, young David had an early fascination for the art of filmmaking. Indeed even before he could walk, David had made his first documentary, tentatively titled Goo Goo Ga Ga Splat -- a boyishly exuberant exploration of the bin under the kitchen bench. As David matured in his methods, more acomplished filmmaking efforts were soon to follow, with such joyously titled short films as Shelly - The Stinky Girl With Cooties Next Door and the starkly truthful When I Grow Up, I Want To Be Bill Collins - both shot on a combination of Super8 film and a My First Autocue and distributed to friends and neighbours on Beta.

David attended the prestigious South Adelaide Orson Welles School of Filmmaking for the first two months of his formative years, though a failing grade in 'Theory of Documentary Making 101' would prove to be his unfortunate undoing in this scholarly regard. This aspiring Attenborough was not to be discouraged in his quest to make informative and entertaining snippets of film, however, and David turned his attentions to a more arthouse style of film endeavour - culminating in his critically ignored stream-of-conciousness narrative piece on Flea Dip, devilishly entitled Old Man and the Flea.

David's big break arguably came in the mid-90s, when he was presented with the opportunity to produce a series of documentary features for Channel 7's flagship show Full Frontal. Thinking the show was pornographic in nature, David mistakenly pitched an adult documentary expose entitled David McGhan Exposes Boobies and was understandably turned away. When he proposed a second documentary series more suitably aimed at Full Frontal's major demographic category of 8-10 year olds, however, history was made.

In the course of the series, David made documentary features on such challenging topics as the gill-less air-breathing habits of Johann Sebastian Bach, the controversial Earth-Moon-Toast-Bridge and a stunning piece on the rare Goaty Creature of West Adelaide. Sadly, the latter was never released for cited reasons of lack of footage.

In producing and narrating this series, David had succeeded in composing a documentary which would eventually be described by critics as being "on tv". But even with such success under his faux leather belt, David would next look to expand his repetoir in the realms of television drama.

To shake off any stereotypes that might accompany him on the transition from non-fiction to fictional filmmaking, David made the difficult decision to change the spelling of his surname from 'McGahan', as had been bestowed upon him by birth, to the snappier and less vowel-challenged 'McGhan'. This change met with much abuse from at least one fan of the filmmaker, who was heard to describe the sudden nom de plume change as ".. what the f#ck?"

First came Roger Explosion - a spy action series much in the vein of James Bond and Chip and Dale, Rescue Rangers. In this endeavour, David once again lengthened his range - writing, starring and producing the series, which featured the exploits of suave super-spy Explosion and his ongoing battle with the evil Bhuto. Next, David was to himself exploit the current trend of successful hospital drama series E.R and Miffy Has A Cat Scan and similarly write, produce and star in his own medical drama, Dr. Miracle MD. This series, featuring the exploits of suave super-doctor Miracle was critically noted for its particular attention to the nuances of the oft-complex canon of medical jargon. Hot on the tail of Miracle came a third series ALSO produced, written and starring David, which pursued the then-current trend of legal drama series - namely, District Attorney Ferguson - and which featured the exploits of suave super-barrister Ferguson and his ongoing battle with the legal bureacracy.

But as tends to happen to those blessed with a particular brand of creative genius, David McGhan's star flared brightly for a fleeting instant and then burned up in the earth's cruel atmosphere, turning into a meteorite and crashing into a playground north of Brisbane, injuring four.

David has since retired from filmmaking and shyed away from the public eye. It is thought that David's decision to hang up his director's chair was due in part to the scathing attacks upon his life's work by a West Australian media critic, but the man himself - in all his sensitive idiosyncratic genius - could not be reached for comment on the issue.

At latest reports, David is thought to be living reclusively at 23 Ward Street, West Adelaide, (phone: (04) 82613990) quietly writing that one great docu-drama to rival the previously unmatched critical acclaim of Sylvania Waters and the technical structure of Popstars. The series with the boys in.