(Thanks to Mout for the transcription!!!)

ALEX RAFALOWICZ interviewed SHAUN MICALLEF as he prepares for his upcoming Adelaide show with Glynn Nicholas, THE PLEASURE OF THEIR COMPANY. 

Asked about returning to Adelaide, Shaun was hoping to receive an enthusiastic response from his old home town:

Hopefully all the local newspapers will carry big “local boy makes good” headlines and the State will put on ceremonies similar to…do you remember Princesses Diana? Similar to her funeral, with armed salutes all the way from devil’s elbow to the city. Although apparently devil’s elbow no longer exits, and hence I should find myself to be quite disorientated.

 Discussing his pervious work in Adelaide, Shaun noted that it could in no way be called ‘professional’:

In fact, quite unprofessional springs to mind, as you will realise if you come to see The Pleasure of Their Company. I did revues and cabaret with people like Francis Greenslade and we did charge admission, but we never made any money so I suppose that in the strict sense it was amateur work.

Shaun was also concerned by his first live show in 10 years, stating, “the audience can expect quite a nervous and unprofessional show from me as I struggle to perform without an autocue. This is the first time I’ve had to learn lines in a long time!”

Asked how it felt to have a ‘cult’ following amongst university students, including the quote “man, I’d give my left-testicle to do a show like that,” Shaun responds:

Yes, that is the admission price. Well you actually do have to when working for the ABC; it took most of my left testicle and a large portion of my soul. Whereas with the commercial networks, you have to give half your brain and leave the other half at the door.

He cites for example Big Brother, which he claims “does seem to show the success of marketing something straight to a target of gullible morons all of a similar age.” “My target audience is different, more like people who attend University or Tafe,” he adds.

We also discussed whether Shaun felt pressured to be ‘funny’ all of the time. He flatly refuted this:

I never feel the expectation that I’m supposed to be ‘on’ all of the time like some comedians complain about. Perhaps it’s because my persona from the tellie is standoffish, cold and nasty, so people don’t feel they can approach me…this is socially convenient for me as it’s exactly how I am.

Shaun claims that he is “not really a comedian at all.” He considers himself to be “more of a comic actor”, playing characters such as the “ex-lawyer looking uncomfortable wearing a costume.” “People think it’s an act but really it’s just me,” he adds.

Our conversation then turns to a critical appraisal of some of his former work, including his Yoplait skits on The Incomplete Shaun Micallef. Shaun says with embarrassed laughter:

I was actually hosting the Logies at that time, so I had very little say as to what went in. In theory I had no control over the Full Frontal material, and I tell you that I fought hard to stop a lot of the worthless shit I created over those three years from being rereleased.

When asked about prospective shows, (including his upcoming show Mouse Patrol on the ABC) Shaun the consummate lawyer could neither confirm nor deny:

We’ve written two scripts and submitted them to the ABC, who has given us the amber light. Which apparently has recently become darker, which I think is a good thing, although maybe it being lighter would be better. I think it’s at about 75% but I suppose we have to check our scrotes to see how much we can give.

Shaun then noted that his phone battery was dying, and before it did he had one last plug for the kids at Flinders: “You should come and see The Pleasure of Their Company on at the Arts Theatre from the 11th of March. You’ll be a better person for it.”

With that he was gone, like a ghost in the night on the set of a poor quality horror film (ie with a lot of static and beeping). But then, only one hour later, the phone rang and it was a profusely apologetic Shaun!

Shaun went on to espouse his views on the proposed anti-student legislation of the Federal Howard Government that could see this beloved paper interviewing him gone without a trace: “What’s the logic behind that, presuming there is any?” I explained to him that Nelson thought that students didn’t want to pay a compulsory fee to their hardworking student organizations. He laughed. “I see - their logic is that because they’ve imposed a large increase in the HECS bill that hangs over your head for the next five years, you shouldn’t have to pay anything else? Besides, the union fee is pretty low isn’t it?” We too ask the same question Shaun! It was like the Students’ Association had written the script for him (they hadn’t!). I explained that our Student Services Fee covered the sports teams and myriad of clubs, subsidises food and beer, provided student representation and of course produces this beautiful, beautiful newspaper. As a man of consummate good taste and sense, at the suggestion that Empire Times would have to fold, he replied “we can’t let that happen.” Here, here!

We got back to Shaun’s career, where he quickly dispelled the popular urban myth that he got his big break after Steve Vizard called his law office and appreciated his witty asides:

That’s been around for a long time, that I was speaking to Vizard on the phone and he offered me job. In truth, I didn’t speak to him for two years after I started working for him.

It turns out that one of the people Shaun went to law school with, Gary McCaffrie had “fixed his wagon to a star and went to Melbourne to start working on Fast Forward,” which was by no means an easy task. “In the end I just rang him up and he got me a job…far less interesting, but you do have to know someone who knows someone. And I knew someone who knew someone and that was it.”

I will now produce the rest of the interview, which resulted in this exchange:

A. Have you got any advice for a bored and struggling law student?

S. Is this you? Bored and you’re in law? Well how long is the course now at Flinders? When I did it, it was three years, 1980 until 1983. Oh wait, that’s four years.

A. Well you obviously didn’t do a maths degree.

S. No I didn’t. What got me through it was doing the revues. We did three a year and it was atrocious material, awful stuff looking back on it. We were idiots who didn’t know anything. But it seeded the timing and being able to cope with shit material and get laughs out of awful things. It was a really good experience. To anyone who listens I would say that if you want a career in writing or comedy then take advantage of any audience that’s given to you. And it was always a supportive audience from the university, not particularly discerning. When I think back on it, it was really horribly sexist, horribly naïve, and horribly misogynistic.

A. Not the basis of our publication this year, don’t you worry.

S. Good to hear. But anybody going along to uni and doing their course and that’s it, they’re not experiencing the real university life.

A. It sounds like you’re the public face of student orgs at this stage Shaun!

S. I know, but I think that’s because when I went it was free and the union fee was $100 but you got a tertiary allowance from the government which paid for your books and living but didn’t need to be repaid. These days there are few positions, well more, but more are occupied by people who pay up-front.

A. That and the fact that there is no allowance for students living independently, unless you earn over $16 000?

S. And that’s a bit hard when you’re working behind the bar at the British Hotel.

A. Did you work at the British?

S. No, but I did drink heavily there.

A. With the chief justice? Was he still the chief justice?

S. God no! I didn’t even know he went there!

A. Yeah Doyle, no not Doyle. Now we’ll get done for defamation. What’s his name? You would know him; you would have studied him, a Chief Justice from a long time ago? Who was a drunk?

S. Which one?!

A. The Chief Justice, Bray.

S. Bray? No, he was the vice-chancellor when I studied there. He used to stumble around in bare feet and a raincoat and probably nothing else.

A. Yes! The story I heard was that he was pulled from a tree calling out: “I’m the chief justice, I’m the chief justice.”

S. Yes, “I’m the Chief Justice, I’m a ripening fruit just about to fall.” Don’t write that down, he’s dead now isn’t he?

A. I wouldn’t know.

S. I think he’s long gone.

A. Well you can’t get done for defamation to the dead.

S. Then go for your life. “Hello I’m ripe, I’m falling from the tree” says Chief Justice Bray, according to Micallef.

A. We now have a new byline to replace “we’ll have to check our scrotes.” Now is this a mobile number I shouldn’t give out?

S. It’s one you can keep. In fact, I keep getting calls from people who want to write. I think the ABC gives it out, god bless them.

No Micallef, god bless you, and your pro-universal membership ways! And your show too, with Glynn Nicholas, The Pleasure of Their Company, at the Arts Theatre from March 11.