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Francis' Knee September 2004 ***We received this month's question-reply scribbled on the back of a Yatzee scorecard sent by carrier pigeon to our satellite home office in Cessnock. Attached was a note from FK's Mum, or her knee, as a way of explanation of FK's erratic correspondence with the website. Please read below - -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hello Mr. Knee of Frances! I
was wondering what your stance on blimps was. Do you see them as air
pollution or amusing replicas of coffee cups? Do you see the blimp as an
irrelevance in your kneeish existence? I
have a theory that poor Shaun's knee is being constantly targeted by blimp
assassins, bent on halting knees all around the world. This will lead to
an Orwellian future, but it won't be Big Brother, it'll be Big Blimp. Prey,
tell me the truth oh knee of wonder! -Erin
***An
Absentee Note from Francis’ Knee’s mother, Francis’ Mum’s Knee: Dear
Web Master/Mistress of Shane Micaldrem Dot Whatever, I must
sincerely apologise for the recent absence of Francis’ Knee.
Let me assure you firstly that he is not suffering any affliction
– no fluid, shattered cartilage, etc – and he will be back to his
duties as soon as possible. Unfortunately
his Nana, Francis’ Grandmother’s Knee, has not been having a good time
of late, and he has travelled off to be her companion for a time until she
recovers from her current ailments. At
first we thought it was her medication but, seeing as she used to hide
them under her tongue when the nurse gave them to her then later secreted
them in a box under the bed until she had enough to make a life size model
of Sean Connery in a Gladiator outfit, it obviously wasn’t that.
And the home she’s been put in has been looking after her, nice
baths and the like, nothing like what was happening in Victoria a little
while ago, but we shan’t speak of that, not during federal election
time. Anyway, she is getting
on, but you have to be careful these days, what with the insurance
companies getting so nosey, and the Cause of Death section in the forms
that the home gave me are very strict about what you put in there. So
Francis’ Knee has gone off to sort it out and see what’s wrong with
her. I couldn’t go as
we’re not on good terms anymore, not after that incident with the trout,
and these are the times when children do come in handy.
He shouldn’t be too long – he only packed three pairs of
Y-fronts and didn’t even bother to take his favourite Gumby shirt, so I
fancy he’ll be back any day. He
did mutter something about testing the theory that electric ovens work
just as well as gas ovens if his Nana’s prattling got too much for him,
but you can’t take too much notice of what kids say these days.
Otherwise goodness knows what might happen if you take them
seriously. Rap ‘artists’
might win Oscars, and I certainly couldn’t live in a world like that!
Could you? Best
of luck with the world wide word site. Yours sincerely, Francis’ Mother’s Knee
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