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Ask Francis's Knee Archives - MAY 2006

Name - Duck Man
Question - What is the answer to the quandary that you have created by talking out of your face instead of your knee?

Dear Duck Man,
A quandary it is not. I am a miracle of modern day medicine. Some of you may remember me being harassed by Ray Martin on A Current Affair in the early 90's, at that time I was having major surgery to remove the journalist, who had attached himself to me after I did some dodgy plumbing jobs.

Some would say I talk out of my arse.

Yours
Francis' Knee

Name - Mr Bremo
Question - I hear that certain things may or may not have been said at certain times and places. Is this true?

Yes, Mr. Bremo, it is true. But I cannot talk for long. People may be listening. For at a certain time and in a certain place, something may happen.

Shhhh,
Francis’ Knee

Name - Mr Ilchef
Question - Have you got a special knee in your life?

Dear Mr. Ilchef,

I have got a special knee in my life. My mother always used to say that no one in the world was more special than me… and she was right. I am very special. 

Please don’t make me feel irrelevant,
Francis’ Knee

Name - Ben
Question - what are the English lyrics to the ‘attentione il est myron’ theme? ("attention it is myron, he is my favourite something, attention it is myron, he is definitely something something .... ?????)

Dear Ben, few people speak French. Especially this hybrid version of what I could only describe as French. The three something’s you are missing are: cheese, pickles and onions.

Peace Out,
F.K.

Name - Lewis Jones
Question - Where can I find a Micallef Pogram DVD?

Dear Lewis Jones,

The only place left in Australia is that really crap ABC shop in Launceston. But don’t expect the staff to have heard of the show, or know how to spell ‘McAliffe’.

Typical!
Francis’ Knee